The Melt Down...

Ok.... So I had a little freak out the other day. At my one week check up I got the ok to start softs early, when and if I felt ready. I'd had the pureed soup with no problem and I felt ready to move onto something else. So, I ate a string cheese, with no problem, and I felt no restriction. I had a melt down. I cried. I felt like before surgery. I felt like I could have eaten more with no problem. I didn't, of course, because I don't want to put pressure on my new sleeve. I also ate a banana with no problem that same day. I was fully prepared to not be able to eat or drink, but to be able to eat so much so soon... I was not prepared for this. I had 80 grams of protein and 800 calories that day and it just felt like too much. I felt like I was getting too many carbs with soft foods and too many calories already. I made a synth -6 protein shake for breakfast the other morning that had 33g of protein and 300 cals! I couldn't bring myself to drink that many calories. I poured it out. It just seems like too much.

Since that melt down, I have calmed down. I realize that I do feel restriction and I'm not eating nearly as much as I did pre-op. The good people on the Obesity Help VSG Forum helped me through it. They reassured me that I am feeling restriction now, I will get better restriction when I'm able to eat more solid food, and that I will be successful. I realized that I'm so used to failing at diets, that deep down, I still believe that I will fail at this too. It is just a tool and I will have to make good choices. The Sleeve is going to keep me from eating the quantities I used too. I can do this.

I'm only down 2 more pounds this week for just over 12 lbs for 2 weeks. Not bad. I wish it was more. For as few calories as I'm eating I felt like it should have been more. However, I am eating more solid food now and most people do lose less the week they make the switch to soft foods. I'm hoping this is the case with me. I do feel really good. My energy level is almost 100%. I'm not taking any pain meds, but do still have soreness on the right side with my large incision. All in all. I'm pleased with my progress.